Article: Let us build people up, not tear them down! | Jacob varghese

Ephesians 4:29(NIV) says “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen”.
Paul’s intention here is to explain how Christian’s need to make a conscious effort to live differently than the people of other faith. Paul specifically indicates that we need to have control over what we say. According to the Bible we are accountable for the words we use. Matthew 12:36(NIV) says “But I tell you that men will have to give account on the day of judgment for every careless word they have spoken.”

I remember of a Christian Youth camp I attended long ago, were we spent around 3 hours for introductions. It turned out to be the most meaningful part of the camp for me. Instead of giving our own names, jobs and family information, each person introduced someone else. Some presented longtime friends, and others told about someone they had just met only the last night. Every introduction was an affirmation, with special attention given to the uniqueness and value of each individual.
As I study the life of the Apostle Paul, I am struck with the fact he was an encourager. The Apostle Paul spoke highly of his colleagues in the faith and ministry. His letters are dotted with the names of men and women to whom and for whom he was deeply grateful. He affirmed Timothy as a person of proven character, who “as a son with his father” and had served him in the gospel (Phi.2:22). He also praised Epaphroditus, who almost died because of his unselfish devotion to Christ and his service to others. Paul could certainly speak in a straight forward and blunt manner. He did not shy away from speaking the truth to someone even when that truth was harsh and hard to take. But at his heart Paul was very much an encourager of others. At the core of his being, he desired to build people up not tear them down.
When a Corporate Accountant committed suicide, an effort was made to find out why. The company’s books of accounts were examined, but no shortage was found. Nothing could be uncovered that gave any clue as to why he took his life- until a note was discovered. It simply said: “In 30 years of my service, I have never had one word of encouragement from the company. I am fed up!” Everyday let us determine to encourage (not flatter) at least one person. Let us do our part to help those around us who are longing for encouragement.

Proverbs 15:1-2(NIV) says “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. The tongue of the wise adorns knowledge, but the mouth of the fool gushes folly”. What kind of person are you? Do you build people up or tear people down? Only strong people can build others up. Before we speak our words, we need to answer some of these questions – Is it true? Is it necessary? Is it kind? Is God receiving glory from the words that we speak out of our mouth?
Heavenly Father I pray that no unwholesome words would proceed from my mouth, but that the words of my lips and the meditation of my heart may be gracious and good. This I ask in Jesus’ name, AMEN.

Jacob varghese

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