Article: Rethinking Marriage Expenses: A Call for Financial Responsibility from the New Generation | Jacob Varghese

In many cultures, marriage is more than just a union between two individuals. It is a celebration, a festival that often spans multiple days and is filled with rituals, parties, and ceremonies that leave both participants and families in awe. While these grand celebrations have their place in tradition, there is a growing need to reconsider the financial burdens that come with them—especially on parents who sacrifice their hard-earned savings to fund these extravagant events.

The Pressure of Lavish Weddings

Lavish weddings have become a status symbol, a display of wealth and grandeur. Couples and their families often compete in hosting the most elaborate events, from engagement parties and pre-wedding photoshoots to Haldi ceremonies, Mehendi, weddings, and post-wedding receptions. These occasions, while culturally significant, are accompanied by escalating expenses. It’s no longer just about the wedding day but a string of celebrations leading up to and after the wedding, where each step requires money, meticulous planning, and time.

For many parents, especially in societies where they feel responsible for funding their children’s weddings, these celebrations can be financially draining. The rising costs of venues, food, outfits, decorations, photography, and even the growing trend of destination weddings have left many parents struggling to keep up. Some are forced to deplete their entire life savings or even take out loans to cover these expenses, leaving them financially vulnerable in their old age.

 

The Burden on Poor Parents

The situation is particularly heartbreaking for poorer families. Despite their limited means, many feel compelled to keep up with societal expectations, often at the cost of their own financial stability. Parents in low-income families sacrifice their savings, selling properties, and taking out loans, all to ensure their children’s weddings meet cultural and societal standards.

This cycle of financial strain is unsustainable. For many, the dream of hosting a wedding worthy of admiration comes with a significant cost, which parents often bear at the expense of their own well-being. This burden is made heavier by the fact that many children have the capacity to earn and contribute to their own weddings but don’t. The expectation is still largely placed on the parents.

A Shift in Responsibility: Children Should Share the Load

While honoring tradition is important, it’s essential to rethink the financial responsibility associated with weddings. Rather than relying on parents to shoulder the entire burden, children must take ownership of their weddings. With changing societal dynamics, where many young people have the opportunity to work and save, it’s time to shift the narrative. Young couples should start saving for their big day, aligning their wedding plans with what they can afford rather than what society dictates.

The Importance of Financial Independence

When children contribute to their own weddings, it not only lessens the burden on their parents but also promotes financial responsibility. Couples who finance their weddings tend to make more prudent choices. They are more likely to budget, set realistic goals, and avoid unnecessary extravagance. This approach encourages them to begin their married life on a financially stable foundation, rather than with the stress of debt or the guilt of leaving their parents in financial distress.

Moreover, by taking financial responsibility for their weddings, couples are reminded that marriage is not about the grandiosity of the event but about the relationship they are about to embark upon. A wedding, no matter how extravagant, lasts only a day. The marriage, on the other hand, is a lifelong commitment. Focusing on building a future together—one that is not weighed down by financial struggles—should take precedence over hosting the most extravagant wedding.

Changing the Narrative: Simple is Beautiful

The need to prove one’s status through an elaborate wedding is a social construct that can and should be challenged. There is beauty in simplicity, and there is no shame in hosting a modest wedding that reflects the true essence of the couple’s love rather than societal expectations. Simple, meaningful ceremonies not only reduce financial strain but also create intimate, memorable experiences that prioritize relationships over appearances.

Encouraging couples to focus on the quality of their marriage rather than the scale of their wedding could lead to a cultural shift. Families can save, invest in their futures, or even donate to causes that matter. The money that would have gone toward lavish weddings can instead be used to build a home, start a business, or secure financial stability for the couple’s future together.

Conclusion

In a world where societal expectations and tradition often dictate the grandeur of weddings, it’s time for a paradigm shift. Parents should not have to bear the brunt of marriage-related expenses. Children, especially those who are capable of earning, must take responsibility for funding their own weddings. Not only does this alleviate the financial strain on parents, but it also promotes financial responsibility in the couple’s future life together.

The essence of marriage lies not in the lavishness of the celebration but in the commitment, love, and partnership that the couple builds over time. It is time to refocus our priorities and understand that a modest, meaningful wedding, planned and paid for by the couple, is not just acceptable—it is a beautiful way to start a life together, free from unnecessary financial burdens.                                                                                           JACOB VARGHESE